The Tales of Flashover House – Terror Strikes

Something was about to happen at Flashover House. The residents couldn’t understand it, but there it was in black and white, on the notice board.

‘Special meeting in the main lounge at
Signed Matron.’

The hams were quivering with trepidation. Surely this must be a disaster of the first magnitude and opinions were beginning to form. Was there to be an official state visit by Cilia Black? Had there been a clerical error in high places, causing Weasel to be elevated to the peerage. It fell to Rees Morgan to voice the ultimate fiasco. Had there perhaps been reports of wrinkles appearing on the north knee of Jill Dando?

Anyway, there they were at ten o’clock sharp, gathered round the big table in a highly excited state. Matron came straight to the point. “I have been talking to Miss Tweedle, the Head Mistress of the infants’ school, and I have promised her that one of you gentlemen will be Santa Claus at their Christmas party.”

There was a sharp intake of breath. White knuckles appeared on the table-top surmounted by a circle of ashen faces. They had braced themselves for something trivial like a nuclear holocaust but this, they felt, was asking too much.

“I don’t like kids” said a G4 from over in the corner. “They are all wet or sticky, depending on which end you get hold of”

“Yes, and they dribble all down their bibs.” added Weasel.

“I know plenty of people much nearer home who do that laughed Matron. “Anyway, let’s have a volunteer. Come on now, just imagine how their little faces will light up when they sit on Santa’s knee and get a present from his sack.”

“Yes and I can visualise the look of contempt” said Angus, “When one of them, who has written to Santa asking for a thirty speed mountain bike, gets a plastic helicopter with a market value of about twenty pence. We would be lucky to get out of the grotto alive!”

At this stage, Matron decided that things were not quite going according to plan so she played the trump up card. “There was some talk of Santa being presented with a bottle of Scotch.” This statement produced a major rethink among the hams and some of them started displaying something akin to enthusiasm. Matron said that the presentation would be made after the pupils had gone home as Miss Tweedle did not believe that the children’s social education would be enhanced by receiving a Dracula Crayoning Book from a drunken Father Christmas.

They decided that they would draw lots for the now privilege of donning the red coat and the moth eaten beard and Rees Morgan was officially elected. All he needed to do was learn the Welsh for Hi Ho Hi Ho! This seemed to bring the meeting to a close, but Matron said there was just one more item on the agenda. “Now we need two fairies to assist Santa in his grotto.” There was a sudden scraping of chairs, a scuffing of feet, a stampede for the door and above it all the voice of Matron. Come back, come back chaps, I was only joking!”

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Popular pages

Get your amateur radio licence - Find out more about amateur radio licence training.
Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
RSGB News - Find out how to get RSGB news on your mobile or PC.
Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
BBADL - Bath Based Distance Learning Course.
Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
Other Newsletters - Excellent newsletters and magazines from other clubs.
TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

Amateur Radio Resources

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