The Tales of Flashover House – The Auction

Christmas was long gone and Flashover House was in the grip of anti-climax.

The hams were longing for excitement but they were short of inspiration. It was left to Weasel to come up with the bright idea. “Why don’t we all go to the Hastings junk sale? My young nephew Terry is the auctioneer and I am told it is a great evening out.”

“What a great idea.” said Matron ‘I will back the mini-bus into the front drive and we can load the junk without too much trouble.” There was a sort of stunned silence from the hams as this suggestion did not really coincide with what they had in mind. They had a quick discussion and came to agree that one man’s Mona Lisa is another man’s junk.

Anyway, in what seemed no time at all, they were parking the mini-bus in the car-park of the West Hill Community Center “I am going to take myself off to the pictures” said Matron, ”I will see you back here at half past ten”

The hams filed into the centre and settled themselves into a row of seats right at the back. The auction was soon under way and Terry was in fine form. Then, as sometimes happens there was a lot with no bidders.

“Right,” said Terry, “We will take lots 50 and 51 together. Will anyone bid a pound?”

Just at that moment, a wasp who was misled by the warmth of the room into thinking that Spring had arrived, picked the back of Weasel’s beck as a suitable landing site. Angus and Rees Morgan immediately came to Weasel’s rescue and attacked the wasp with rolled-up newspapers. Terry, who was unaware of the wasp, naturally took all the newspaper waving as bids

“Buzz Buzz” went the wasp. “Whack, Whack” went the newspapers.

“I have a one pound hid’’ said Terry “WiII anyone make it two?”. “Buzz Buzz.”. ‘Whack Whack”

“Two pounds with you at the back, do I hear three?”. “Whack Whack”

“I have three who will make it four.” “Buzz Buzz”. “Whack Whack”

At this point the wasp, who was by now thoroughly disenchanted with the whole thing muttered to himself “Sod this for a game of soldiers.” and took refuge in his winter quarters behind the curtains.

Angus and Rees Morgan resumed their seats just in time to hear Terry pronounce the words of doom. “Sold to you at the back for eight pounds going, going, gone.” The porters then delivered to Angus two cartons of burned out steam irons some incomplete mincers and what appeared to be three quarters of a fairy-cycle.

They were smuggling these items into the mini-bus when Matron returned from the pictures, and it would be fair to say that she was peeved, but the junior G4 came to the rescue.

“On the way here I can remember seeing a pond which seems to be used by the locals as a rubbish tip. Perhaps we could dump all this stuff in there.”

“That would be very naughty” said Matron “But perhaps; just this once.”

They found the pond without too much trouble and they quickly submerged the two cartons of ironmongery. They were about to give the fairy-cycle a decent burial when, from the rear, they heard the voice of authority. “‘Ello. ‘Ello, What’s all this ‘Ere?”

They turned to see the rural constable dismounting from his velocipede. Weasel was as quick as a flash. “Good evening officer. We are from an old peoples home where we have to sleep three to a bed and we have come here to see if we can find an old bedstead that we can paint up to help to ease the situation”. “Did you say three to a bed?” said the constable.

“Sometimes four!” said Weasel pushing his luck just a little. The constable shone his flashlight on the pond. “I think you are in luck gentlemen. I can see one from here!” and, without another word he waded into the pond.

“My goodness me,” they heard him shout. There are two here and they both have mattresses. What a stroke of good fortune that I came along”

He dragged the dripping relics ashore and loaded them on the roof-rack of the mini-bus “Just one thing gents.” he said pointing to Matron “Take this young lady and see her safely home. There are villains, desperados, arid queer people abroad in these parts”. “You can say that again”, mumbled Matron.

As the mounted benefactor squelched his way down the lane they heard him say softly to himself “Four to a bed tut tut that’s shameful.”

Latter-day visitors to Flashover House pause to marvel at Harbottle’s kitchen garden. A closer look reveals that his runner beans are climbing up two iron bedsteads.

Return to the index of Vital Spark articles.

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Used Ham Radio Equipment

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UK repeaters

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GB3EB 2m in Uckfield- Active
MB6EB 2m DStar Node in Eastbourne - Active
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Popular pages

Get your amateur radio licence - Find out more about amateur radio licence training.
Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
RSGB News - Find out how to get RSGB news on your mobile or PC.
Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
BBADL - Bath Based Distance Learning Course.
Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
Other Newsletters - Excellent newsletters and magazines from other clubs.
TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

Amateur Radio Resources

Other Radio Clubs & RAYNET

BSARS - Brede Steam Amateur Radio Society

RAYNET - The Hastings and Rother RAYNET Group.

HERC members sites

Sigord - Gordon Sweet
Hastings Radio Comms - Andrew Haas-Campbell
Hoofbags - Liz Costa