The Tales of Flashover House – The Bard’s Return

The residents were enjoying their mid-morning stupor when they were woken by the Sound of footsteps on the gravel path and the ringing of the doorbell.

As Matron opened the door, they heard the sound of fractured poetry

                “In all the world, the sweetest flower
                For you I waited many an hour.”

“It’s McGonagall!” they gasped in unison “He’s come back”.

The door was flung open and Matron shot into the lounge propelled by the bard himself doing a frantic Viennese waltz which left her breathlessly clinging to the sideboard. As a near relative it was left to Angus to ask the inevitable question.

“What brings you back so soon?”

“Loyally loyalty, and honour laddie. As I lay meditating in my small croft in the posh end of Benbecula my thoughts turned to my friends at Flashover House and, suddenly felt ashamed at the way had deserted you just as we were getting acquainted”.

“Please don’t give it another thought” said Angus.

“No” said McGonagall “I must make amends and I have called upon the muse”.

“Oh my God” whispered Rees Morgan but there was no escape. The bard was alrwady wheeling out the first stanza.

Above the moors the haggis soars
Then circles over head
It seeks in vain
For some terrain
On which to rest its head
But then at last, with hope ne’er gone
He found a kinsman’s tree
He swooped down low and saw that he
Was just in time for tea.

At this point, Angus, who was beginning to read between the lines decided to interrupt..

“You can’t stay here, all [lie rooms are occupied.”

‘That’s no problem said McGonegall “When I was here last year, I noticed a small camp bed in the corner of your room. I am sure you won’t mind sleeping on that until a week next Wednesday. ”Then, with a brief move he whisked Matron of towards the kitchen.

“O come my gorgeous little elf,
Let’s see what food s on the shelf.”

As the door closed behind them, they could have sworn they heard Matron giggle.

“That’s another thing.” said G2, “they charge three hundred quid a week to live in this place and if Head Office hear that we have smuggled someone in they will bring down the wrath of the great Beelzebub”.

“Perhaps they won’t find out” said Rees Morgan optimistically.

“Don’t kid yourselves” said 02. “The people at Head Office are not too bright but if one of them comes here and there is a six foot red headed Scottish poet on the premises they are going to notice him.”

When McGonagall returned he was full of enthusiasm.

“I would Ike to read to you all the lyric of my newest madrigal .“

“You did that when you were here before.” said Angus clutching at straws. “lt was all about Mistress Dando and Mistress Gregg dangling their legs about. We all remember it, in fact we sing it all the time.”

“No it isn’t that one” said McGonagall. “This is a special one which I dedicate to Matron”.

O Matron flee
Come dance with me
AU through the meadows nightly
With sweetest bliss
And stolen kiss
No two will step more sprightly.
Across the lea
Beneath the tree
Heed not the curfew’s warning
Just lie we two
‘Till comes the dew
That brings the early morning”

“That sounds a bit disgusting to me.’ said Rees Morgan. “I have seen people thrown out of chapel for less than that.”

“I am sure my fiancée wouldn’t like it either” said Matron.

“You have a fiancée”?” asked McGonagall sounding a bit nervous.

“Oh yes” said Matron, he is an all in wrestler. His real name is Nigel but he is professionally known as Crusher Crabtree. He is a nice gentle person, until he gets the red mist that is”.

“Yes, we were all pleased with the verdict at the Court of Inquiry when they accepted his plea that his opponent’s ear had come away in his hand.” added Weasel keeping up the pretence.

McGonagall faltered slightly. Mayhem was not one of his favourite things and his keen poetic brain was groping for the exit.

“Perhaps it was thoughtless of me to visit you good folk without prior warning and, if you will excuse me, I will take my leave. I believe there is a train over the border in half an hour. I look forward to seeing you au again at a later date.”

As they watched him retreating from the gate, they felt a tinge of remorse.

“You know,” said Matron with a slight blush “He really was quite sweet. He would have driven us raving mad but there was no harm in him. II tell you something though. I wouldn’t half mind going a few rounds with this Crusher Crabtree we have just invented!’

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Popular pages

Get your amateur radio licence - Find out more about amateur radio licence training.
Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
RSGB News - Find out how to get RSGB news on your mobile or PC.
Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
BBADL - Bath Based Distance Learning Course.
Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
Other Newsletters - Excellent newsletters and magazines from other clubs.
TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

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