The Tales of Flashover House – The Deliverance of Weasel

The other inmates of Flashover House sensed that something out of the ordinary was happening when Weasel started to comb his hair. This feeling was reinforced when he took to wearing a collar and tie and going out in the evenings. There was also a faraway look In his eyes which was causing concern. Matron joined in the speculation. “He‘s started writing poetry you know. Just listen to this I found it in his waste paper basket when I was cleaning his room she read from a piece of crumpled paper.

‘They say your hair was tinged with gold,

But it’s turned a nasty grey colour since you got old.’

There was a pause as the hams savoured the magic moment, then Angus broke the silence.

“Yon man Is In love.”

“I think you’re right”, sold Rees Morgan. “I had That feeling years ago. I seem to remember it was about the same lime as I had the spats. I still get It now and again whenever I see Jill Dando”.

It was decided that, for his own good, Weasel should be spied upon. A youthful G4 was deemed suitable for this task. He was fleet of toot and was the only person In Flashover House who still had the ability to conceal himself behind a lamp-post.

On his return, this private eye, who watched far too much television, read from his notebook. “I observed the suspect meeting a woman of the feminine gender outside the Playhouse Cinema. They avoided the horror film at Cinema 1 and made for Cinema 2 which was showing ‘MOPEDS OF DESIRE’, which according to the poster is a torrid story of inflamed passions during a wet early closing day in Cleethorpes. Staring Egremont Freebody and Dame Felicity Doombucket. I then retired to a local hostelry (for which I will be claiming expenses), until the suspects emerged. By this time they were holding hands and there were popcorn fragments on their clothing.

“Never mind all that”, said Angus a little impatiently. “What was this woman like?” “Well, replied the G4,”She is better looking than Weasel but not by all that much”. “This is disgraceful” thundered Rees Morgan. “Here is an innocent unmarried man .totally unaware of the ways of women. I think matron should take him aside and tell him the facts of life.

“0h no” said Matron, “if you think I am having him sitting on my knee while I tell him about the birds and bees you had better think again, You do it G2, you are the chief man around here.”

G2 was finally persuaded that this task called for the type of tact and understanding that comes with mature years, and the following morning found him closeted with Weasel in his shock. G2 opened the batting.

“Where did you meet this lady?”

“Our eyes first met across the refrigerated counter at Mac Fisheries” said Weasel. “I fancied a few shrimps and she was enquiring about the price of cod.”

“Ah!” said G2, “these chance meetings and so called love at first sight can be very dangerous. You must always bear in mind that women are not just funny shaped men. They have the blue eyes and the ornamental undercarriage, but they need more qualifications than that before they can be considered as a soul mate for a radio ham.”

Ask yourself, will this woman shin up your tower and grease the rotator, will she dig up the garden and bury the radial earth wires, will she keep your dinner warm for three hours while you are trying to contact Indonesia, and will she attend all the rallies, following you at a respectful distance and carry your heavy purchases back to the car. It Is The trivial things like this which make which make a good marriage.”

“I can speak with authority on such matters because In my younger days I came within an inch of disaster. On the night before our wedding, my intended came round to see me and confessed through floods of tears that there was something that she had been holding back from me. With stumbling words she told me that she had never heard of the RSGB. Can you imagine that, twenty years of age and she had never heard of the most revered Institution on earth! Naturally we had to call the whole thing off. This was no slight inconvenience to myself as I had paid a deposit on the suit. So you see Weasel, please be very careful in matters of the heart”

“Thank you” stammered Weasel. “I had no idea that things were so complicated, it’s a good thing that you older men are around to save us beginners from our folly.”

Weasel went out as usual to his evening assignation but he was looking very thoughtful. He returned rather hurriedly about an hour later panting and perspiring. “You were dead right G2”, he wheezed, “You can’t be too careful this woman took me round to her place, and shoved me into the bedroom and here it all was, her deadly secret – C.B. equipment spread all over the bedside table, then as if that wasn’t enough, someone called her and l am almost afraid to tell you what her handle was, she Is known as ‘Sexy Buddy No Knickers’. I turned away and ran for my life!”

“Never mind Weasel, no harm done”, laughed Angus pushing a tumbler of amber fluid into Weasel’s trembling fingers. “We’ll get Matron to drop some bromide in your tea and you’ll be as right as rain”

“There is just one thing” said Weasel, “Do you mind off take off this bloody tie? It’s strangling me”.

There were smiles and nods of approval, this was the old Weasel, back In business again.

Return to the index of Vital Spark articles.

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Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
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Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
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Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
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TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

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