The Tales of Flashover House – The Gift

DX Master was off for a few days on a mini lecture tour. Before he left, he had a few words in G2’s oar.” I have sent away for a little gift — something which will look nice in the garden and you will be able to share. If it arrives while I am away, please put it by the side of the greenhouse until I get back”.

The residents were all agog, what could this mystery gift possibly be. Fortunately they did not have too long to wait because at daybreak the following day, they were awakened by the steady thump of a diesel engine. They pulled the curtains back to get a better look and saw a massive lorry standing by the gate.

Angus being the only one decently dressed, went to investigate. What he saw left him almost speechless. The lorry was a low-loader and along its length was a gigantic lattice mast. The driver prised himself out of his cab.

“Is this Flashover House?”
“Well, yes”, said Angus.

“Sign here.” said the driver producing a clip board full of documents “I think there has been a mistake.’ gasped Angus.

“Don’t worry Jock.” said the driver “everything is being taken care of. We couldn’t get it all on my lorry so Alf will be along presently with the centre section and, sometime this afternoon, Big Cyril will be along with the base-plate and the nuts and bolts” Thus saying, he swung himself back into his cab, engaged his crane, deposited his load on the pavement, and drove off.

By this time the other residents had assembled led by Matron who’s curlers were glinting like fairy lanterns in the half-light.

“Let’s go indoors and have some breakfast, perhaps it will go away” suggested Weasel who didn’t much like the idea of missing a meal. This proved to be wishful thinking though because, after their breakfast as they sat in the lounge, they could hear frequent metallic sounds as Alf and Big Cyril went about their evil work.

It was mid-afternoon when the constable arrived on the doorstep. He was not the jovial sort of policeman who moistened his pencil before writing in his notebook. He was more the type who likes to ask suspects to trot along to the station to assist him with his enquiries. He quickly pointed out that if they the felons, did not do something about the load of old metal which was impeding the lawful progress of the passer by, he, the upholder of the law would start to get very shirty indeed,

He had a point of course but as there was no hope of them lifting the obstruction, let alone moving it, they decided to go to the corporation yard and borrow some paraffin lamps. This was not the ideal solution but it was the best they could do.

The following evening DX Master was returning from his lecture tour feeling pretty pleased with himself. He had performed well and, so far as he could tell, no one had actually fallen asleep. He turned the last corner and was dazzled by all the lamps. His first impression was that he had strayed into the Golden Mile at Blackpool.

His second impression was that he was ploughing a furrow in a paving slab with the tip of his nose. It was no small wonder then that when he crashed through the front door of Flashover House, he was in a critical mood.

‘Who the hell dumped all that scrap metal on the pavement?” he demanded. Rees Morgan adopted the role of official spokesperson.

“We were of the opinion that this was the little present you promised us. It is a little on the huge side but I am sure it would look wonderful in the garden if only we can find a way of getting it through the gate”.

DX Master turned a funny colour and made a dash for the telephone in Matron’s office. They couldn’t hear what he was saying but he was waving his arms about an awful lot, He returned to the lounge and slumped in the big easy chair speechless. When he decided to break his silence, he was scathing “There should be a law against firms employing foreigners to take orders over the phone”.

“I made it quite clear that I wanted a nice sunflower and we finish up with a nine ton tower!  Anyway I have told them in no uncertain manner that I want it removed first thing tomorrow morning”.

“Just one thing occurs to me’ said Matron, How did you pay for the tower?”

“My God!”, shouted DX Master, I gave them my credit card number”. And he rushed off once more in search of a ‘phone.

“It’s a pity really” said G2, “We would never be able to fit a beam on a Sun-flower.

Return to the index of Vital Spark articles.

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Popular pages

Get your amateur radio licence - Find out more about amateur radio licence training.
Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
RSGB News - Find out how to get RSGB news on your mobile or PC.
Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
BBADL - Bath Based Distance Learning Course.
Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
Other Newsletters - Excellent newsletters and magazines from other clubs.
TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

Amateur Radio Resources

Other Radio Clubs & RAYNET

BSARS - Brede Steam Amateur Radio Society

RAYNET - The Hastings and Rother RAYNET Group.

HERC members sites

Sigord - Gordon Sweet
Hastings Radio Comms - Andrew Haas-Campbell
Hoofbags - Liz Costa

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