The Tales of Flashover House – The Millennium

“What are we going to do about it then!?” asked Matron breaking the silence. “What are we going to do about what” asked G2 who hadn’t quite understood the question.

“That thingy.” said Matron. “‘What thingy” said G2.

“You know” said Matron. “The newspapers are full of it and it’s on the television all the time”

“I think Matron means Jill Dando”, said Roes Morgan stirring himself for a moment. “It is nothing to do with Jill Dando you silly man” said Matron.

“I think yon lassie is referring to the Millennium” suggested Angus who thought he should put in his two-penny-worth before things turned ugly. “Yes” said Matron. “Thank you Angus. “I am pleased we have someone who knows what he is talking about. “Don’t you think we should celebrate the event in some way?”

“We could shove a couple of sky rockets in a milk bottle” chipped in Weasel. “No” said Rees Morgan “I don’t think there will be any need for fireworks. The way I understand it, on the stroke of midnight all the computers in the land will crash and revert to year 1900. The Bank of England will either crumble into dust or go into orbit and walrus moustaches and drain-pipe trousers will come back into fashion.”

“What will happen to our radios?” stammered a timid G4 in the corner who seemed almost afraid to ask. ‘”A good question” said Rees Morgan, “and I don’t know the answer, but if I were you I would start to stockpile cats whiskers and learn to read spark just to be on the safe side.”

‘Oh! I don’t think we should be too pessimistic” came the sage voice of G2 seeking to stop the panic. “Only the other day, I was passing a computer shop when a spotty twelve year old youth who I took to be the Manager thrust a leaflet into my hand. Let me read it to you”.

“As the world leaders in computer technology, we are very mindful of the fears our customers have expressed regarding the Millennium. Will my computer explode on the stroke of Big Ben? I hear you ask. And the answer to that is “very likely”. May we suggest two simple tests to determine if your computer is on the hit list. Remove the lid from the hard disk.”

“This can be done with any top of the range can opener or a tyre lever. With the aid of a magnifying glass examine the interior minutely. If the megabytes are smiling, linking arms and generally having a good time, then you have nothing to worry about. But beware. These megas are slippery customers and if you see one wearing his base-ball cap back to front, don’t trust him an inch!.”

By this time most of the Hams could see the funny side, but Weasel was looking worried.

“It’s alright for you lot, you don’t have computers. But don’t forget I am On Packet. Does the leaflet say anything about Packet?

“Oh yes! “lied G2. “There is a small footnote. It says that all sys-ops will flash and sparkle and their trousers will burst into flame. This is known in the trade as the Dando effect, according to an official spokesperson. There will be no danger to the public and the pound in your pocket will be quite unaffected. It will still be worth three and four pence the same as it always was.

“OK” said Weasel. “I know you are winding me up. What does that leaflet really say?”. “Right you are” said G2. “If you insist. It says ‘f you take this leaflet into Mothercare you will get 20p off their giant size Gripe-water’”.

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Get your amateur radio licence - Find out more about amateur radio licence training.
Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
RSGB News - Find out how to get RSGB news on your mobile or PC.
Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
BBADL - Bath Based Distance Learning Course.
Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
Other Newsletters - Excellent newsletters and magazines from other clubs.
TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

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