The Tales of Flashover House – Up and Over

The inmates had had their eyes on the tree end of the garden for some time. The sight a tree does different things to different people.

If you show a tree to a poet, his eyes will glaze over and he will go rattling on about the wonders of nature but an ardent swain, when confronted by the same tree, will whip out his Swiss army penknife and carve his beloved’s initials on It.

Radio hams, being nice straightforward individuals, do neither of these things. and so it was that when, morning they stood on the back lawn regarding the fifty foot horse chestnut, they were of one voice.

”Forty metre dipole.”

As with all bright ideas, it wasn’t long before a snag appeared on the horizon, namely, how do we get a line over the tree?

“What we need.” said Roes Morgan “is a catapult. That shouldn’t be too difficult to make. “Er .. Matron do you have any stout elastic handy?”

“Yes” replied Matron, “and it is staying exactly where it is. Why don’t you go and follow the postman down the street. He tosses elastic bands around like confetti.”

“No. that wouldn’t be strong enough.” chipped in Weasel“. But I think that somewhere in my room have my old army braces. That should do the trick. I will go and fetch them.” Sadly though, it seemed that the harsh winds of Catterick Camp had done their evil work and the brave elasticity which had routed His Majesty’s foes in 1942 was now reduced to a pathetic twang.

Harbottle the gardener was no radio ham but he didn’t like to see his friends in difficulty so he produced, from his shed, a primitive bow and arrow made from garden canes and binding twine.

This was not entirely successful. The trajectory was all wrong and the arrow hissed its way through the fence into next door. When they retrieved the cord, it was fairly obvious that it had been in contact with a clothes line because the arrow was tangled up with an item of female attire which G2 with his superior memory, identified as being a camisole. They didn’t quite know what to do with ii so they put it in the compost bin to take its chance.

The next on the scene was a junior G4 with his fishing rod. He thought he could cast into the topmost branches of the tree, but he missed by a mile and all he got for his pains was a tinkling sound as the lead weight went through a neighbours cold frame.

Years ago,” said G2 “I saw a group of Moroccan acrobats at a circus. They had a sort of a seesaw”.

One of them stood on one end while three of the others jumped from a pair of steps onto the other end. He went a fair old height l can tell you! I wonder if we can do something similar but instead of the one man we could put our line with the weight attached.”

They should never have tried it, because the only plank they could find was rotten.

When they jumped on the end it snapped and they finished in a heap on the ground while the brick they were using as a weight went leaping and bumping across the ground into next doors garden.

As they were straightening themselves out, they heard someone mouthing discomfort from the other side of the hedge.

“All right you lot, should have known better than to have had you as neighbours. I’ll show you how to throw things over the hedge. I am the local expert. Here, cop hold of this!” The hams stood in a state of shock as a brick arid a length of line came hurtling down towards them from the heavens
.
“tt’s a miracle” shouted the junior G4 It is exactly, where we wanted it, right from tile top of the tree. That must have been the voice of God we heard!” But Rees Morgan did not agree.

“When I was a boy in the valleys, I used to attend the Hell-Fire and Brimstone Chapel. Thee minister told us lads that the Good Lord, when he felt like it, would pass among the disbelievers and smite them down with the occasional thunderbolt”.

“He never said anything at air about pelting your neighbours with half-bricks No take it from me that was not the voice of God you heard, In fact, I am almost certain that it was the voice of Mr. Deeprose from number 70 and we appear to have got him on a bad day”.

So it seemed that it was a case of “All’s well that ends well” until Matron appeared at the back door.

“I have a Policeman at the front gate” she lied. “He wants to know which one of you perverts has been stealing ladies underwear from clothes lines, and I am not very keen on the way he is dangling his handcuffs”.

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UK repeaters

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GB3EB 2m in Uckfield- Active
MB6EB 2m DStar Node in Eastbourne - Active
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Popular pages

Get your amateur radio licence - Find out more about amateur radio licence training.
Month on the Air - G3MGQ's popular monthly DX contest/expedition list.
Wilf Gaye Memorial Cup - The clubs annual operating event in the memory of Wilf Gaye M0GYE.
St. Richard's College Buildathon/STEM/ARISS - HERC attends St. Richard's Catholic College for their various events surrounding the Tim Peake ARISS contact.
G3BDQ - John Hey's Rare QSL Cards.
Sussex Electronics Radio Fair - SERF Sussex Electronics Radio Fair 2016.
Vital Spark - A selection of articles re-published from the Vital Spark.
RSGB News - Find out how to get RSGB news on your mobile or PC.
Experimenters Corner - A selection of Proteus projects by Bob Gornal (G7DME)
BBADL - Bath Based Distance Learning Course.
Conquest Hospital Radio - Presented by HERC member Antony (G4CUS).
Radio Rallies 2016 - An up to date list of radio rallies scheduled for 2016.
Club QSL Cards - A selection of QSL cards the club has received over the years.
Other Newsletters - Excellent newsletters and magazines from other clubs.
TX Factor episodes - Take a look at the TX Factors YouTube videos.
John Taplin - A bio of the late John Taplin.

Amateur Radio Resources

Other Radio Clubs & RAYNET

BSARS - Brede Steam Amateur Radio Society

RAYNET - The Hastings and Rother RAYNET Group.

HERC members sites

Sigord - Gordon Sweet
Hastings Radio Comms - Andrew Haas-Campbell
Hoofbags - Liz Costa

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